Fun and Photos

Here's a collection of fun little things.

Photos

 

 

FAQ Plan B: Boyfriend

I’m a technical writer. That means I write Frequently Asked Question pages (FAQs) at work. It’s become a bit of a tradition for me to post an FAQ when I have a new book out. So here goes…

1. In the first chapter Sarah’s son gets suspended from school for bringing a knife in his backpack. Would a school really suspend a kid for that?

My friend’s daughter got the boot for a butter knife in her lunch bag. My husband said she must have been using it to spread anarchy.

I heard this book includes a Drunken Breakdown scene. What kind of research did you do before you wrote that?

Have you ever seen the movie Barfly with Mickey Rourke? I spent a few weeks immersing myself in that lifestyle, Heh. No, seriously. No research. I’m a writer. I make stuff up.

In the book, Charlie is obsessed with Jimmy Rollins from the Philadelphia Phillies. Are you a Phillies fan?

No. Like all good Pittsburgh Pirates fans, I detest the Phillies.

So how do you know about Jimmy Rollins?

My niece has a hermit crab named after him.

I thought you were going to say you looked him up on Google or Sports Illustrated or something. You really don’t do any research at all, do you?

I think research would harm my process.

You have a process?

Yes. I make everything up.

Everything?

I’ve never even been to Vegas.

I thought a writer would be more professional.

You want research, watch a Ken Burns documentary. You want a fake Vegas night with mini-cheescakes, read my romance novel.

But there’s a poker scene, right? Don’t you have to know the rules of poker to write a poker scene? That had to be factual.

I actually do know the rules of poker (thanks, Pop!), but Sarah and Charlie cheat their way through the game so it didn’t matter.

If they’re cheating, how do they know who wins?

Everybody wins in the poker scene.

But…

Trust me, everybody wins in the poker scene.

I don’t know if I should trust you. You just admitted that you make everything up.

This is an FAQ, not a romance novel. I’d never tell lies in an FAQ. Honest.

 

 

FAQ The Boyfriend's Back

Did you know that most FAQs are made up by technical writers and have nothing to do with actual questions anyone has ever asked? Yep. It’s like writing fiction, except about bytes and bandwidth and secure passwords. And also the FAQs are usually nonfiction. Usually.

1. The title is The Boyfriend’s Back, but the cover shows his front. What’s up with that?

Um. Good observation? But the title refers to the fact that The Boyfriend was gone and has now returned. He came back. Get it?

2. See that part on the cover where it says “Going Back?” Is that because her hair is blowing back in the wind? Is it, like, a caption? Because I didn’t think her hair needed a caption.

Well, no. Sorry. You’re 0 for 2 here. Going Back means this book is part of the Superromance themed series about characters who return to their hometowns. In this case, The Boyfriend. He is back. In his hometown. Get it?

3. In the book, JT has a degree in robotics from Carnegie Mellon. You went to Carnegie Mellon. Is your degree in robotics?

Not exactly. My degree is in Creative Writing—that would be the English department, not the engineering school. But I had a job in a robotics lab one time, which is what gave me the idea of sending JT there.

4. So you majored in writing and built robots in your spare time? Cool.

No. I majored in writing and did some writing for a robotics project in my spare time. The project was an early speech recognition program. I had to copy edit the manuscript the robot created. It was pretty cool.

5. It doesn’t sound cool to me.

I guess you’re not a writer/geek like I am.

6. I think I'm okay with that.

Did you have another question?

7. I read the back cover copy and it sounds like a secret baby book—guy leaves home and comes back fifteen years later. Girl has secret she’s afraid to tell him, and she’s got a daughter. Secret baby, right?

Well, fifteen years…not exactly a baby anymore, is it?

8. Are you supposed to be sarcastic when you’re answering these questions?

Sorry. Not a secret baby. Not exactly, anyway.

9. Are you supposed to be evasive when you’re answering these questions?

Argh. Do you want me to give away the entire plot? Is anticipation not part of the fun?

10. Stop answering my questions with questions. So in the cover picture it looks as if Hailey is getting ready to have her way with JT. What page is that scene on?

Heh. 30.

 

FAQ His Secret Past

1. The lead character’s name is Mason Star and he’s a rock star. Weren’t you trying too hard with the name?

Excellent question. Yes. Of course, I was trying too hard. My sister told me it was cheap. My editor told me it was cheap. My critique group told me it was cheap. But I am a sucker for a cheap name. So pulling from my bag of tricks, I wrote fictional backstory for the name, blaming it all on the parents. (Because in fiction, as in real life, it’s the parents’ fault.) Mason’s mom was a stripper who changed her name legally to Sierra Star. So he can’t help it that his name is cheesy.

2. Did you ever play that game where you make a stripper name for yourself out of the name of your first pet and the name of the street you lived on when you were a kid?

No.
Signed,
Dusty Monastery

3. I have the same problems with my golf game that Mason has. If I follow Anna’s advice will my swing improve?

Umm. No. And also you’ll probably get kicked off the course. Even your more reputable miniature golf courses aren’t going to stand for that kind of carrying on. I recommend instead, that you do what I did when I realized my golf game stinks. Retire. You get to spend more time in the clubhouse that way, and the clubhouse is where they keep the gin and the pretzels.

4. On the cover of His Secret Past, Mason is wearing a tuxedo but he’s at the beach. Who wears a tuxedo to the beach?

Sigh. He’s at a wedding. Those are tables behind him, not sand dunes.

5. On the cover of His Secret Past, Mason is wearing a tuxedo and there is sand all over the tables behind him. Was there a dust storm or did the bride actually have “sand” as her wedding color?

Next!

6. Did you have to pay Rob Lowe a lot of money to pose for the cover?
Okay, you know what? I thought this was going to be a serious discussion. Who’s asking these questions?